You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
