he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'd cum for enchiladas.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
