I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
