I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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