yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
