butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
