she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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