We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
