if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
