pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
