Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
