Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry NightGod hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.

Fav 23 8362 1032
share tweet
(704): View more from North Carolina

this is really not the time to pretend we have morals

Fav 10 5269 1371
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(850): View more from Florida

I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?

Fav 7 1537 3496
share tweet
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.

Fav 11 1064 3902
share tweet
(409): View more from Texas

The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.

Fav 44 4079 1341
share tweet
(507): View more from Minnesota

So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.

Fav 16 902 1524
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(681): View more from West Virginia

Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.

Fav 12 2492 1173
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+77): View more from

Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!

Fav 2 284 534
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.

Fav 0 60 28
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT