Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
