Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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