if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
