Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Are my feet made of real feet?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
