I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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