Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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