So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
