I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Even my vagina gasped.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
