i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
