Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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