She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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