i would punch a child for taco bell
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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