The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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