Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
