Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
