you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
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