I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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