you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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