she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
