Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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