ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
