my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
