I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
