To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
