I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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