Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
