Ambien. No doubt about it.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
