i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
