i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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