I looked at my own cervix.
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
