im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
