dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Randomize
