This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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