just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
