is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
