he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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