At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize