Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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